Home & Garden
In what furniture experts are calling “a miracle of modern engineering and emotional control,” local resident Dan Peterson successfully assembled an IKEA bookshelf without experiencing a mental breakdown or threatening his marriage.
Chloe Summers (staff writer)
MINNEAPOLIS — The HEMNES bookshelf was completed in just 3.5 hours with only moderate cursing and no injuries requiring medical attention. “I actually followed the instructions in order and used all the correct screws,” Peterson announced proudly while his wife documented the achievement. The accomplishment has made Peterson something of a local celebrity, with neighbors requesting tutorials and IKEA corporate reportedly interested in studying his techniques. Marriage counselors have called it “the most significant breakthrough in spousal furniture relations since the invention of pre-drilled holes.”