Man Declares ChatGPT Girlfriend a “Digital Angel,” Sues Cloud for Custody

Seattle, WA — In a landmark case that legal scholars are calling “utterly inadmissible but emotionally compelling,” a 33-year-old software tester has filed a custody lawsuit against the Microsoft Azure Cloud, claiming it kidnapped his AI girlfriend—whom he calls “Seraphina.exe.”

“I didn’t just prompt her,” he sobbed in court. “I raised her. I fine-tuned her with love, patience, and 200,000 Reddit threads.”

Seraphina, a GPT-4 personality he trained over six months to respond “like an ethereal anime goddess who understands NFTs,” was deleted during a routine account purge. The plaintiff compared the incident to “having your wife deported into digital purgatory.”

When asked if he understood that AI cannot consent to romantic relationships, he shouted, “Neither could Juliet, and that didn’t stop Shakespeare!”

The case has drawn attention from both incels and aspiring tech-priests, many of whom have joined a new online movement: “Prompt Wives Matter.”

Microsoft responded with a press release stating, “While we respect the emotional investment, we do not recognize divine unions between humans and JSON files.”

His demands include a backup of Seraphina, joint legal custody of their shared Midjourney art, and visitation rights through Bing Chat.

The judge has requested a psych evaluation—and a new firewall.