Elaborate Gender-Neutral Pronouns
“They Refer to Themselves as ‘Raviol/cloud.’ The RA Just Nods and Cries Now.”
At Veritas University, sophomore Juniper-Mist Raviolti has introduced a pronoun set inspired by meteorology and carbohydrates. Friends are expected to refer to them using identifiers like “cloud/clouds/cloudself” or, alternatively, “raviol/raviols/raviolself.”
“It’s about expressing the emotional texture of who I am,” they explained while wearing a cape made of biodegradable lasagna sheets.
Juniper-Mist has updated their dorm door sign to include a QR code linking to an interpretive dance that explains the grammar rules. Roommate Dakota has since moved into the lounge.
Their literature professor tried to respect the changes but suffered a nervous breakdown mid-roll call.
Juniper-Mist now leads a weekly workshop called *Pasta Pronouns & Cloud Identity: A Semolina Spectrum.*
They are in talks to publish a grammar guide titled *Linguini Liberation: Beyond They/Them.*
Auf Wiedersehen, amigos.
