Comic Book Stores
Villainy, Volume One
A routine Wednesday at NerdCore Comics erupted in chaos when cosplayer “Dr. Vortexx” climbed atop a Funko Pop shelf and declared, “Your world ends in exact change!”
The Monologue Misfire
Staff initially applauded, thinking it was performance art. That is, until Dr. Vortexx tried to “telekinetically” rearrange the manga aisle using only jazz hands and misplaced rage.
Customer Impact
One child wept when Vortexx stepped on a rare Pokémon card. Another tried to join the villain’s army and was redirected to the Yu-Gi-Oh section for safety.
Store Response
“We support cosplay,” said owner Brent, “but not when it involves glitter smoke bombs and a threat to marry all the action figures.”
Conclusion
Dr. Vortexx is now banned. He’s reportedly regrouping at a nearby Hot Topic, where evil monologues are still legally protected.
