Zodiac Dating

Stars Crossed, Tables Flipped

Tinder matched Elena and Brad due to shared interests in sarcasm and dark roast coffee. But upon revealing their mutual Scorpio status, the temperature dropped, the candles flickered, and the waiter began trembling uncontrollably.

The Clash

“He tried to dominate the appetizer order,” said Elena. “Classic Scorpio move.” Brad countered, “I sensed betrayal before the hummus even landed.”

Astrological Commentary

Horoscope columnist Luna Fang declared, “Two Scorpios in love is like giving a scorpion a mirror and asking it to self-reflect.”

Restaurant Aftermath

They never made it to dessert. The waiter was later seen burning sage behind the kitchen.

Conclusion

Both rated the date three stars for intensity, zero for compatibility. Mercury has filed a restraining order on behalf of Pisces everywhere.