Haunted Mannequins
“It Dabbed. Then It Wept. And Now It Won’t Wear Anything That Isn’t Velvet.”
Employees at Gladstone’s Department Store in Milwaukee were baffled when a mannequin named “Jeremy” began switching poses after hours, rearranging accessories, and once writing “HELP ME, BUT MAKE IT FASHION” on a sales tag.
Security footage confirmed Jeremy leaning, gesturing, and at one point, flossing. The store went viral on TikTok under the tag #HauntCouture.
Local teens began visiting to “witness the vibe.” A Wiccan group sued after claiming the store co-opted their “spiritual runway rights.”
Jeremy has since demanded a signature scent, a dimmer lighting package, and veto power over winter wear.
Management tried to replace him. The new mannequin melted.
The store now sells “Jeremy’s Choice” apparel next to sage bundles and fashion therapy pamphlets. Sales have tripled.
Auf Wiedersehen, amigos.
