Over-Hashtaggers
“Her Post Was About Avocado Toast. It Tagged NATO and the Moon.”
In a bold attempt to “maximize engagement across dimensions,” lifestyle influencer Bayla Quinn’s latest Instagram post included 289 hashtags, ranging from #BrunchBlessings to #QuantumEntanglement and #EmotionalCilantro. The caption? “Feelin’ green.”
Instagram’s algorithm briefly crashed. Engineers reported the system developed a sense of irony and asked to be unplugged.
Followers were confused. One commented, “This is either marketing genius or a cry for help from someone trapped in a Pinterest board.”
Bayla defended her strategy in a 14-minute Reel titled *Hashtag Nirvana: Unlocking SEO for the Soul.* She now teaches an online masterclass: *Tag Until You Transcend.*
Meanwhile, a single avocado was digitally promoted to “micro-celebrity” status and has been offered a book deal.
Instagram now limits hashtags to 30. Bayla responded by stitching her next caption onto a decorative pillow and mailing it to Zuckerberg.
Auf Wiedersehen, amigos.
