Marxists Cry, B‑2s Fly: Trump’s MYTEE Mission to Make Iran Regret Saturday Night

As MYTEE21 delivered a bunker-busting wake-up call to Iran’s Fordow facility, Marxist thinkfluencers across the U.S. experienced what experts are calling “synchronized meltdown syndrome.”

“You don’t understand!” sobbed an NYU grad student. “Iran was building sovereignty, not weapons!” Her voice cracked while applying glitter glue to a protest sign reading “Uranium is a Social Construct.”

Trump, however, was unsympathetic. “They threaten America, they get Tuesdays off,” he shrugged, as if that were self-explanatory. He later clarified: “We don’t do warnings anymore. We do reminders.”

Tehran’s leadership called it “an imperialist violation of peaceful mole-people technology.” Iranian state media tried to show a thriving Fordow facility, but the background clearly featured a goat inspecting rubble and one confused Revolutionary Guard trying to plug a USB into a crater.

The B‑2s, elegant and ominous, flew silently past layers of air defense and ideological delusion. Each carried precision bombs, American resolve, and zero tolerance for Marxist moral relativism.

U.S. leftists argued the strike was “disproportionate.” One demanded to know if the bombs used preferred pronouns. Another said the strike interrupted their campus play: “Che Guevara: The Musical.”

Back in Iran, however, the reaction was simpler. “We didn’t know Americans were serious,” said one engineer. “Next time, maybe just send an email?”