I’ll start saving *next* month. (Never does.)
Next Month Never Comes: The Savings Plan of Procrastination
Budget Tomorrow, Brunch Today
“I’ll start saving next month,” they say with the optimism of someone who’s already spent this month’s paycheck on artisanal hot sauce and a Bluetooth flowerpot.
Funny Evidence from the Postponed Piggy Bank Posse
One man’s savings account had 17 cents and a mysterious recurring charge from something called “Zumba Deluxe.” Another kept deleting budgeting apps because they were “too judgmental.”
Quote from a Delay-Now, Cry-Later Economist
“I’m just waiting for the right paycheck,” said Jenna Someday. “One with more zeroes. In the front.”
Satirical Snapshot
They dream of compound interest while compounding Amazon purchases. They’ve bookmarked financial blogs, but only read horoscopes.
Conclusion: Start Saving Now–Before You Convince Yourself Avocado Toast Is an Investment
It’s fine to treat yourself, but your future self might prefer rent over a third ring light and limited-edition Crocs.
For more fiscal fables, spend some irony at bohiney.com
