Queen’s Corgis Launch Podcast Denying Cheating Rumors
“We Were There, And We Smelled Nothing” — Official Royal Bark
LOS ANGELES / LONDON — In a stunning show of canine solidarity, the late Queen Elizabeth II’s corgis — Bubbles, Muffin, and Sir Sniffington III — have launched a new podcast titled “Behind the Throne: Barking the Truth”, vehemently denying persistent rumors of infidelity involving Queen Camilla and a polo instructor named Sergio.
The podcast, produced by Spotify’s short-lived division Spotify BARK Originals, features the trio dissecting tabloid stories, debunking viral TikToks, and growling passive-aggressively at rival royal pets.
Episode Highlights
- Ep 1: “The Biscuit Truth” — Bubbles reads Camilla’s WhatsApp messages in a dramatic growl, revealing nothing but scone orders and emoji misuse.
- Ep 2: “Walkies and Whispers” — Sir Sniffington recreates the exact route of the rumored rendezvous using a scent map and a shredded monogrammed napkin.
- Ep 3: “Fetch the Receipts” — Muffin presents barking-altered CCTV footage showing Camilla was in fact at Harrods, emotionally browsing cheese.
What the Funny People Are Saying
“Even the corgis are doing podcasts now? I’m expecting a collab with Joe Rogan by next week.” — Ron White
“Their opening theme is just muffled growling and a squeaky toy. I’d listen to that over NPR.” — Jerry Seinfeld
“Their emotional support human is Piers Morgan in a leash harness. You can’t make that up.” — Amy Schumer
Royal Household in Damage Control
Buckingham Palace released a terse statement: “The corgis do not represent the official position of the Crown, nor are they trained in media ethics.”
However, the palace was later spotted offering them a Netflix docuseries: “The Queen’s Guard(dogs): Paws of Duty.”
King Charles is reportedly furious, especially after Bubbles referred to him as “His Royal Step-Afterthought.”
Camilla has refused comment but posted a cryptic story on Instagram featuring a teacup, a broken collar, and the song “Shakira – She Wolf.”
Furry Fallout
Critics have accused the podcast of being “propaganda wrapped in puppy eyes.” Meanwhile, supporters say it’s “the only source brave enough to speak truth from the rug.”
One listener review on Apple Podcasts read: “Five stars. Best royal gossip I’ve heard delivered by an animal since Prince Andrew’s apology letter.”
Animal Planet has optioned the rights for an animated series.
IMAGE GALLERY
DISCLAIMER: This article was translated from the original barking, then focus-grouped with seven Labradoodles and one cockapoo trained in PR. No biscuits were harmed.
Auf Wiedersehen, amigos.