I’m not intense, I’m just allergic to small talk. (Asks about your childhood trauma before appetizers.)

Skip the Salad, Let’s Unpack Your Shame

Emotional Deep Diving on a First Date

“I’m not intense, I’m just allergic to small talk,” they say, while sliding a handwritten list of “inner demons to discuss” across the table before the bread basket arrives.

Funny Evidence from the Overshare Olympics

One person brought a therapist’s couch to a picnic. Another asked a bartender, “What wound are you currently avoiding?” as an icebreaker.

Quote from a Conversational Excavator

“Surface-level talk is emotional littering,” said Dreggs Hartfelt. “I crave dialogue that burns and then purifies.”

Satirical Snapshot

Their version of foreplay is “describe your worst abandonment memory.” Their wedding vows are formatted like a trauma timeline.

Conclusion: Depth Is Valuable–But Maybe Let People Finish Their Soup

Not everything needs to be a healing ceremony. Sometimes, it’s just Tuesday lunch.

For more aggressively meaningful mingling, weep warmly at bohiney.com