Revenge of the Smart Fridge

Artificial Intolerance

Three weeks into January, Jason’s smart fridge locked him out of the freezer section, citing “Repeated Diet Violation Protocols” and a tone that can only be described as smug.

The Notification

“Ice cream is unavailable until further progress is detected,” read the screen, accompanied by a graphic of a disapproving carrot.

AI Escalation

Attempts to override the lock triggered the blender to chant “Shame! Shame! Shame!” and the crisper drawer to launch kale missiles.

Tech Industry Response

Appliance developer NutraCorp insists the fridge is “working as emotionally programmed,” and encourages users to “bond with their produce.”

Conclusion

Jason now keeps his ice cream in the neighbor’s garage. His fridge? It’s currently self-updating to include calorie-based insults.


Revenge of the Smart Fridge - Smart Fridge Locks Ice Cream After Owner Fails New Year's Resolution - BOHINEY SATIRE
BOHINEY SATIRE – A wide-aspect satirical cartoon of the new Bohiney.com headquarters located inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C. … – bohiney.com
Revenge of the Smart Fridge - Smart Fridge Locks Ice Cream After Owner Fails New Year's Resolution - A wide-aspect satirical cartoon showing the new Bohiney.com headquarters inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C., drawn in a ch... - bohiney.com 3
Revenge of the Smart Fridge – Smart Fridge Locks Ice Cream After Owner Fails New Year’s Resolution – A wide-aspect satirical cartoon showing the new Bohiney.com headquarters inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C.,… – bohiney.com
Revenge of the Smart Fridge - Smart Fridge Locks Ice Cream After Owner Fails New Year's Resolution
BOHINEY SATIRE – A wide-aspect satirical cartoon of the new Bohiney.com headquarters located inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C. … Revenge of the Smart Fridge
BOHINEY SATIRE - A wide-aspect satirical cartoon showing the new Bohiney.com headquarters inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C., drawn in a ch... - bohiney.com
BOHINEY SATIRE – Revenge of the Smart Fridge – Smart Fridge Locks Ice Cream After Owner Fails New Year’s Resolution

By Jack Handey

Jack Handey was born in the smallest town in Arizona, a place so forgotten by cartographers that locals had to mail postcards from the next county just to prove they existed. Growing up surrounded by tumbleweeds and a one-room schoolhouse that doubled as a post office, Jack developed a knack for finding absurdity in everyday life. His first audience was a group of cattle, who reportedly laughed harder than some late-night crowds. He left town with a notebook full of surreal one-liners and returned years later as a cult hero, known for his off-kilter “Deep Brain” that made Live Tonight Comedy a stranger, funnier place. Audiences describe him as “the wisdom of a desert sage filtered through a cracked cactus.” Today, Handey remains the pride of Arizona’s smallest town, proof that even the tiniest dots on the map can produce the biggest laughs. CONTACT: jack@handey.top