Teachers Union Head Quits DNC, Declares Herself “Self-Purged”

In what insiders are calling “a resignation with revolutionary flair,” AFT President Randi Weingarten stepped down from her DNC leadership post while softly whispering, “Viva the committee-free life.” Political observers say she wasn’t fired—she simply “self-purged,” a new form of resignation invented by Type-A progressives tired of bureaucracy and Zoom.

“I didn’t feel like I was being pushed out,” Weingarten told reporters while sipping organic chamomile. “I simply felt a need to step sideways from neoliberal center-left inertia.”

Her departure sparked immediate panic within party leadership. Chuck Schumer reportedly asked if a “self-purge” meant Weingarten had downloaded Trotsky’s ghost. The New York Times ran a 4,000-word explainer on the Marxist implications of quiet quitting.

Fox News labeled the move “Radical Surrender,” while MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow called it “the bravest committee ghosting since 1968.”

Weingarten’s final DNC act? Replacing the office Nespresso pods with union-made espresso beans.

“We will not rest until every educator has dental care, classroom windows, and a working understanding of dialectical materialism,” she said, vanishing into a well-funded AFT-organized lunch break.

It wasn’t a coup. It was a calendar un-invite with historical implications.

SOURCE: Great Marxist Purge