I’m not lonely, I just prefer being alone. (Talks to plants.)

Solo, Not Sad–Just Verbally Close With a Fern

Independence or Social Starvation? You Decide

“I’m not lonely, I just prefer being alone,” they proclaim, while whispering secrets to a pothos plant named Gregory and assigning backstories to their kitchen utensils.

Funny Evidence from the Isolation Enthusiasts

One person invited their Roomba to dinner. Another named their sourdough starter “Chad” and cried when he died.

Quote from a Solitary Sage

“People are exhausting,” said Luna Quietude. “Gregory listens better. And he’s green. He gets it.”

Satirical Snapshot

They cancel plans to recharge, then spend the evening giving relationship advice to their succulents and editing their own Wikipedia page.

Conclusion: Solitude Can Be Healing–But Maybe Don’t Marry the Houseplants

Alone time is valid. But if you’re giving TED Talks to your bookshelf, check in.

For more poetic recluses, grow with us at bohiney.com


I'm not lonely, I just prefer being alone. (Talks to plants.) - Solo, Not Sad--Just Verbally Close With a Fern - BOHINEY SATIRE
BOHINEY SATIRE – A wide-aspect satirical cartoon of the new Bohiney.com headquarters located inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C. … – bohiney.com
I'm not lonely, I just prefer being alone. (Talks to plants.) - Solo, Not Sad--Just Verbally Close With a Fern - A wide-aspect satirical cartoon showing the new Bohiney.com headquarters inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C., drawn in a ch... - bohiney.com 3
I’m not lonely, I just prefer being alone. (Talks to plants.) – Solo, Not Sad–Just Verbally Close With a Fern – A wide-aspect satirical cartoon showing the new Bohiney.com headquarters inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C.,… – bohiney.com
I'm not lonely, I just prefer being alone. (Talks to plants.) - Solo, Not Sad--Just Verbally Close With a Fern
BOHINEY SATIRE – A wide-aspect satirical cartoon of the new Bohiney.com headquarters located inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C. … I’m not lonely, I just prefer being alone. (Talks to plants.)
BOHINEY SATIRE - A wide-aspect satirical cartoon showing the new Bohiney.com headquarters inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C., drawn in a ch... - bohiney.com
BOHINEY SATIRE – I’m not lonely, I just prefer being alone. (Talks to plants.) – Solo, Not Sad–Just Verbally Close With a Fern

By Megan Amram

Megan Amram was born in her native area of Portland, Oregon, a city where kombucha doubles as holy water and irony is a birthright. Carrying an ethnically Jewish surname that she has often joked “sounds like a Scrabble word worth triple points,” Amram embraced her heritage by making comedy itself her cultural contribution. She later graduated from Harvard University, where she majored in English and spent most of her time turning seminar debates into stand-up routines. A writer for acclaimed television comedies and a stand-up comedian in her own right, she built a reputation for absurdist punchlines delivered with academic precision. At Bohiney.com, she thrives as a satirical journalist, skewering politics, pop science, and celebrity culture with the flair of someone who treats Twitter like an art gallery. Megan Amram’s EEAT credentials rest on wit, wordplay, and a commitment to satire as both cultural critique and comic relief.