I’m not lonely, I just prefer being alone. (Talks to plants.)
Solo, Not Sad–Just Verbally Close With a Fern
Independence or Social Starvation? You Decide
“I’m not lonely, I just prefer being alone,” they proclaim, while whispering secrets to a pothos plant named Gregory and assigning backstories to their kitchen utensils.
Funny Evidence from the Isolation Enthusiasts
One person invited their Roomba to dinner. Another named their sourdough starter “Chad” and cried when he died.
Quote from a Solitary Sage
“People are exhausting,” said Luna Quietude. “Gregory listens better. And he’s green. He gets it.”
Satirical Snapshot
They cancel plans to recharge, then spend the evening giving relationship advice to their succulents and editing their own Wikipedia page.
Conclusion: Solitude Can Be Healing–But Maybe Don’t Marry the Houseplants
Alone time is valid. But if you’re giving TED Talks to your bookshelf, check in.
For more poetic recluses, grow with us at bohiney.com