Clown Phobia Support Groups
“They Said This Was a Safe Space. Then Honking Happened.”
A support group for coulrophobia–fear of clowns–scheduled a healing retreat at the Harmony Hollow Community Center, only to discover it had been double-booked with the annual *GiggleFest Clown Collective Meetup*. The resulting chaos is being described as “a symphony of suppressed screams, rainbow wigs, and triggered childhood memories.”
“We had just begun a guided meditation,” said group member Carl, “when a man in size-28 shoes burst in and sprayed seltzer water over our coping journals.”
The clowns, led by Boopsy McBubbles, thought the group was a surprise interactive audience. “We just wanted to share the joy,” Boopsy sobbed. “We didn’t know our presence would be interpreted as psychological warfare.”
Several phobia sufferers fled into the parking lot. One climbed a tree and screamed “No balloon animals!” until authorities arrived.
Therapists on-site attempted to de-escalate, only to be accidentally pied in the face by a juggling mime named Chuckles Noir.
The city has since instituted a policy banning all red noses from therapeutic spaces without written consent. The Clown Collective now faces a lawsuit titled *Laughter Is Not Consent: A Legal Exploration of Squeaky Trauma.*
The support group is relocating to a scream cave with no Wi-Fi and a strict ban on joy-based footwear.
Auf Wiedersehen, amigos.
