I’m not a know-it-all, I just do my research. (Quotes Wikipedia at funerals.)
The Google Scholar of Grief and Trivia
“Did You Know?” Is Not a Love Language
“I’m not a know-it-all, I just do my research,” they announce before explaining, at a wake, how ancient Egyptians buried cats. Twice.
Funny Evidence from the Fact-Overload Fellowship
One person corrected a priest mid-sermon. Another started a birthday toast with “Actually, that’s a myth.”
Quote from a Scholarly Buzzkill
“I just want to keep people informed,” said Facton MeCorrect. “And if that makes people uncomfortable, they should read more.”
Satirical Snapshot
They treat casual conversation like a dissertation defense and carry laminated “fun facts” to family reunions. No one asked for them.
Conclusion: Knowledge Is Power–But Also Sometimes a Party Killer
Read the room. Then wait until the eulogy ends before citing Britannica.
For more well-referenced social wreckage, footnote your life at bohiney.com
