It’s *tradition*! (No one knows why.)

Tradition: Because We’ve Always Done It Wrong

History, But Make It Arbitrary

“It’s tradition,” someone yells–while tying a turkey to a ceiling fan or making you wear a sequined elf hat and chant in Latin. No one knows why. No one dares question it.

Funny Evidence from the Ritual Recycling Bin

One family insists on watching *Home Alone 2* every Easter. Another forces everyone to drink warm clam juice on birthdays “because Grandpa did it once by accident.”

Quote from a Ceremony Commander

“It’s about honoring our roots,” said Sharon Nostalgia, arranging jello molds in the shape of Nixon’s head. “Even if we don’t know what those roots are.”

Satirical Snapshot

Tradition is just peer pressure from dead people. We follow rules no one remembers and bake casseroles no one likes–all in the name of nostalgia and blind obedience.

Conclusion: If No One Can Explain It, Maybe Don’t Keep Doing It

Or keep doing it! But let’s not pretend “because we always have” is a strong defense for anything but pie-related antics.

For more historical hijinks, ritualistically refresh at bohiney.com