Violators Must Write “I Am Not Sorry” 100 Times on a MAGA Whiteboard

Trump Installs “No Sorry Zone” Signs Across America

Violators Must Write “I Am Not Sorry” 100 Times on a MAGA Whiteboard

TOPEKA, KS — In a national rollout that has baffled civil libertarians and delighted Facebook uncles everywhere, Donald Trump has installed “No Sorry Zone” signs in cities, suburbs, and Cracker Barrels across America.

“We’ve had Safe Spaces, now we have Strong Spaces,” Trump announced, flanked by a marching band of eagles and Harley-Davidson enthusiasts. “Apologizing is just guilt cosplay. We don’t do cosplay anymore unless it’s Revolutionary War-themed.”

The new initiative, funded by the Department of Homeland Boldness, comes with enforcement protocols. Anyone caught apologizing in a No Sorry Zone must write “I Am Not Sorry” 100 times on a dry-erase board featuring Trump’s face in each corner. Repeat offenders must attend a 6-week seminar titled “Gaslight, Gatekeep, Great Again.”

Liberals are furious. “This normalizes emotional constipation,” said a sociology major named Orion during a protest where he apologized for blocking the sidewalk. Trump supporters clapped back: “You’re proving our point.”

Melania reportedly requested the signs be installed in their bedroom. Trump smiled. “She thanks me for not apologizing — very romantic.”

Merchandise includes wall decals, temporary tattoos, and branded tissue boxes labeled “For Weak People Only.”

The first sign was placed at the entrance to Trump Tower, with a backup installed in case the original offends someone — which would, of course, be ironic and taxable.

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SOURCES:

How to Be POTUS Without Reading Anything

and

How to Be POTUS Without Ever Apologizing