Food Critics Shocked by Combo of Burritos and Border Policy Briefings
Trump Launches “Truth Tacos” Chain to Replace Woke Coffee Shops
Food Critics Shocked by Combo of Burritos and Border Policy Briefings
ALBUQUERQUE, NM — In a bold move to reclaim both cuisine and conversation, Donald Trump has launched a fast-casual restaurant empire called “Truth Tacos.” The goal? To finally defeat what he calls “the avocado-toast industrial complex.”
“We’re going to bring honesty back to food,” Trump declared. “No more baristas with nose rings telling you the planet is melting. Just tacos, truth, and freedom.”
Each order comes with a free copy of a Trump border policy pamphlet and a QR code to a Mar-a-Lago livestream. Toppings include “Nationalist Nacho Cheese,” “Second Amendment Salsa,” and “No Apology Guac,” which costs $7 but claims to own the libs with every bite.
Truth Tacos’ slogan? “Wrap It in a Tortilla, Say It Like It Is.”
Critics called the food “surprisingly okay,” though Yelp was divided. One user wrote, “The churros lectured me on voter fraud, but the flan was excellent.”
California attempted to block the chain’s expansion, citing zoning laws. Trump replied, “We’re not zoned. We’re chosen.”
Melania has reportedly invested in the dessert menu, offering a “First Lady Flan” with exactly zero apologies or ingredients from foreign countries.
Truth Tacos opens in 15 states next month, starting in towns with more flags than stoplights.
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SOURCES:
How to Be POTUS Without Reading Anything
and
How to Be POTUS Without Ever Apologizing
