New MAGA Textbooks Feature Bold Fonts, No Footnotes, and Endless Self-Congratulation
Trump School Curriculum Removes “Apology” from Vocabulary, Replaces with “Dominance Flex”
New MAGA Textbooks Feature Bold Fonts, No Footnotes, and Endless Self-Congratulation
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move hailed by some as “bold” and by educators as “deeply disorienting,” the Trump Institute for Glorious Education (T.I.G.E.R.) has launched a school curriculum that eliminates the word “apology” entirely, replacing it with the phrase “dominance flex.”
“We’re not teaching kids to say “sorry’–we’re teaching them to say “you’re lucky to witness this,'” said Eric Trump, interim Principal-for-Life.
The new history textbooks include chapter titles such as *”George Washington: First to Win, First to Gloat”* and *”Manifest Destiny: Because We Felt Like It.”* All books are bound in red pleather and come with a pull-out poster of Trump riding a bald eagle.
Math has been updated to include Trumpian logic, like “2 + 2 = a great deal, the best deal.”
In science, Newton’s Third Law now reads: *”For every action, there is an excuse — preferably loud.”*
Critics say the changes discourage humility. Trump responded, “If I wanted kids to be humble, I’d enroll them in Canada.”
The curriculum’s only approved apology is “I’m sorry you’re so wrong.”
Enrollment surging, especially among parents who feel “bad decisions should be doubled down on, not explained.”
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SOURCES:
How to Be POTUS Without Reading Anything
and
How to Be POTUS Without Ever Apologizing
