Swings and Sarcasm Lessons Feature Real-Time Finger Pointing
Trump’s Golf Course Now Offers “No Apology” Membership: Includes Unlimited Blame Shifting Clinics
Swings and Sarcasm Lessons Feature Real-Time Finger Pointing
MAR-A-LAGO, FL — In a move hailed by friends and ignored by critics, Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago golf course has launched a new membership tier called “No Apology,” promising unlimited access to blame shifting clinics, finger-pointing tutorials, and self-confidence-enhancing caddie banter.
“Golf is like politics: you swing hard, miss often, and blame the wind,” Trump said while teeing off on hole 19, newly dubbed “The Accountability Bunker.”
Members receive personalized coaching on:
- Redirecting fault to invisible forces and “fake yardage”
- Delivering zingers like “I don’t miss — the course moves”
- Mastering the art of “Sarcasm Swing,” where blame is hurled alongside golf balls
Trump promises, “You’ll never say sorry, but you’ll always hit the clubhouse for victory speeches.”
Critics note that frequent blame-shifting has led to a 67% increase in caddie turnover and “catastrophic grip failures.”
The club plans to expand offerings with “Legal Loophole Yoga” and “Pardon Your Partner” couples’ retreats.
Early testimonials include: “I was ready to quit golf, but now I just blame the squirrels. Game changer.” — Anonymous no-apology enthusiast.
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SOURCES:
How to Be POTUS Without Reading Anything
and
How to Be POTUS Without Ever Apologizing
