Conspiracy Theories
“Protect Your Garden, Expose the Lies”
Rick Dobson, 48, has spent the past two years converting his backyard into an avian surveillance-proof zone after deciding that pigeons are government-issued drones designed to spy on grocery lists and barbecue secrets.
To fight back, he’s launched “Cloak & Seed,” a tinfoil-coated birdseed line meant to jam GPS signals and “keep your robins rogue.”
Rick hosts weekly livestreams where he yells at power lines and teaches squirrels Morse code. His HOA has filed three cease-and-desist letters, all intercepted by a hawk wearing what Rick calls a “wing camera.”
Sales are booming in niche forums. One buyer posted: “My parakeet hasn’t blinked since 2018. Thanks, Rick.”
Auf Wiedersehen, amigos.