We don’t do screen time (kid has an iPad by age 2)
Anti-Screen Parents and Their Digital Daycare
“We’re Raising Our Child Naturally”–on a Retina Display
Some parents boast about banning screen time… while their toddler swipes better than most boomers and can unlock Netflix faster than you can say “Bluey.”
Funny Evidence from the Hypocrisy App Store
One mom said, “No screens before age 5,” then handed her kid an iPad labeled “Quiet Mode.” Another dad said, “Screens rot brains,” right before using an iPhone to soothe a tantrum during brunch.
Quote from a Tech-Confused Parent
“It’s not screen time,” said Digital Dan. “It’s Montessori media exposure through interactive light panels.”
Satirical Snapshot
These kids can’t talk yet, but they know how to skip ads and close pop-ups like jaded Gen Z executives. Screen-free? Only in theory.
Conclusion: If the Screen Is Raising Them, Just Say So
Modern parenting is hard. But don’t pretend an iPad isn’t your co-parent if it tucks them in every night with *Cocomelon*.
For more pixel-perfect parenting, tap into bohiney.com
