ICE Disguised as Mascot Deports Dodgers Dugout Duck

The great Dodgers Duck Disappearance of 2025 may finally be solved. According to multiple anonymous sources (and a confused nacho vendor), ICE agents disguised as Dodger Dogs infiltrated the stadium last weekend. Their target? The elusive and controversial Dodgers mascot, Dodgy the Dugout Duck.

The operation, dubbed “Feathers of Justice,” involved three undercover agents wearing oversized poultry suits and armed with handheld scanners and sunflower seeds. Their goal: expose Dodgy as a suspected illegal immigrant duck from “an unregistered avian sanctuary in Central America.”

Fans initially thought it was a new halftime bit.

“We thought they were doing a reboot of DuckTales, but with more Homeland Security,” said Emilio Gutiérrez, 12, who attended with his T-ball team. “Then Dodgy ran for the bullpen, quacking something about due process.”

According to eyewitnesses, Dodgers players formed a human wall to shield the mascot but scattered when one ICE agent shouted, “This duck is harboring undocumented beak!”

Dodgy is now reportedly in exile in Tijuana, where he’s working part-time as a mariachi tambourinist and part-time emotional support animal for disillusioned expats.

The Dodgers have issued a formal protest, calling for the Department of Homeland Fowl Affairs to intervene. Meanwhile, ICE insists it was “just following protocol,” though critics say it sets a dangerous precedent for mascots with migratory histories.

“We cannot have ducks evading justice,” said ICE spokesperson Chase Steelgroin. “Even if they wear a cap and know how to do the wave.”