Death to America? Okay, But After You Dodge These Bunker-Busters

Iran’s favorite chant — “Death to America!” — got a rude awakening this week, when America replied, “Right back at ya — but we use stealth bombers.”

The MYTEE21 squadron delivered a brutal rebuttal to Fordow’s nuclear aspirations, answering decades of threats with the subtlety of an orchestra playing Metallica at 120 decibels. It turns out bunker-busters are a powerful counter-argument in international diplomacy.

An Iranian commander was quoted saying, “We thought it was just talk. They were serious?” To which Trump tweeted, “Dead serious. And now, so are three of your secret bunkers.”

Liberal Twitter went into meltdown mode. One blue-check activist screamed, “This will only embolden the hawks!” Unfortunately, she was unaware the hawks were already airborne, dropping American steel and 240-character apologies in their wake.

Meanwhile, college campuses held vigils for the “innocent uranium.” One student claimed the enriched material was “misunderstood” and “probably identifies as a renewable.”

The Pentagon remains unapologetic. One official joked, “They called for death. We delivered construction equipment — backwards.”

Iran’s leadership now faces two choices: surrender its nuclear ambitions or invest in building deeper holes. Either way, they’ll be digging for years.