The Bull Moose Resistance (BMR) 2028 Platform

No More Lies. No More Tricks. Just Hooves and Antlers.

America has suffered long enough under corrupt politicians, swamp creatures, and people who wear suits but can’t tell you the price of a gallon of milk. That’s why the Bull Moose Resistance is here to restore REAL leadership—by replacing career politicians with a Texas longhorn bull and a Vermont moose.

Our platform is simple: No More Lies. No More Tricks. Just Leadership You Can Trust… Even If It Occasionally Eats Grass Mid-Press Conference.

Foreign Policy: Stare Down the World

• The Bull will lock horns with dictators—literally. If Putin challenges him, he’ll get gored on live TV.
• The Moose believes in peace through intimidation. His policy? Stand still, make eye contact, and let global leaders feel the raw power of Vermont wildlife.
• No more unnecessary wars! The only troops we’ll send overseas are herds of bison, set loose to negotiate via stampede.

Domestic Policy: Turning America Into an Independent Free-Range Nation

• BMR doesn’t believe in fiat currency. Instead, we’ll back the economy with hay, acorns, and “favors owed to the herd.”
• We’re replacing Washington, D.C. with two co-capitals:
  • A pasture in Texas for economic policy.
  • A forest in Vermont for healthcare and wellness (which is mostly napping under trees and eating organic leaves).
• Instead of corrupt career politicians, Congress will be staffed entirely by wise barn owls and an angry goat who smells BS from a mile away.

Healthcare: Natural and Organic, Baby

• Our healthcare system will be holistic and farm-based.
• Prescriptions include:
  • Herbal tea for anxiety.
  • Mud baths for inflammation.
  • Headbutts for stupidity.
• No more insurance paperwork! Just show up at the barn and let nature do the healing.

Education: Teach Kids How to Survive the Collapse of Civilization

• History books will now include the TRUE story of how the government stole the 2020 election from a bull and a moose.
• Math will be practical—teaching kids how to barter in acorns, not just calculate imaginary numbers.
• Civics class will be replaced with How to Start a Fire Without Google 101.
• Instead of standardized testing, students will be judged based on their ability to outsmart a raccoon.

Law and Order: The Strongest Should Lead

• The new Supreme Court will consist of seven wise owls and one unpredictable goose.
• Instead of prisons, criminals will be sentenced to working on a farm until they develop common sense.
• The death penalty is abolished, but repeat offenders will be forced to wrestle the Bull. If they win, they get a second chance. (Nobody has ever won.)

Environmental Policy: Take America Back to Nature

• Climate change? Fixed in one term. How?
  • No more cars. Everyone rides buffalo.
  • No more pollution. If a corporation dumps chemicals in the river, we dump them in the river.
  • Farms over factories. If you can’t milk it, grow it, or ride it, do we really need it?

Military: A Defense System Based on Pure Fear

• The U.S. military budget will be redirected to training an elite squad of bald eagles.
• No more nuclear weapons. We’re just going to unleash a stampede of Texas longhorns whenever there’s a conflict.
• The new national security strategy: If you mess with America, you have to fight the Moose in single combat.

Tax Policy: Stop Paying Washington, Start Paying the Herd

• Taxes will no longer go to the government. Instead, they will be collected in bushels of corn and fresh water for the herd.
• If you don’t pay taxes, the Bull WILL find you.
• The IRS is replaced with a very judgmental goat named Kevin.

Technology: Keep It Simple, Keep It Honest

• No more social media! If you want to tell people what you’re doing, just moo loudly in their general direction.
• AI is banned unless it helps milk cows or translate what the Moose is thinking.
• All government documents will be carved into wooden planks for posterity.

Final Statement: Why You Should Vote BMR in 2028

• We don’t lie.
• We don’t cheat.
• We don’t take bribes (mostly because we don’t understand money).
• And we’re literally too big to fail.

Join the movement! Bull Moose Resistance 2028 – No More Lies, No More Tricks!

PAID FOR BY THE GRASSROOTS MOVEMENT TO INSTALL UNGULATES IN OFFICE.