The person who brings up their ex *constantly*
Dating Me Means Dating My Ex’s Memory
Dating Me Means Dating My Ex’s Memory
Some people bring emotional baggage. Others roll in with a 9-piece luggage set embroidered with their ex’s initials. You’re not just dating them–you’re starring in the reboot of their last relationship, now with more awkward flashbacks and unsolicited photo comparisons.
The Ex Files
Every conversation leads back to “Ashley used to do that too,” or “My ex and I loved Thai food,” until Pad Thai becomes a ghost pepper of regret.
Comedian Jab
“If your date mentions their ex more than the waiter, run,” joked comic Margo Keys. “You’re not on a date–you’re at a haunted dinner.”
Funny Testimony
One woman shared, “He compared me to his ex’s dog… and I didn’t win.”
Satirical Survey
The National Association of Unsolicited Overshares reports 78% of serial ex-mentioners have one photo album labeled ‘Just in Case We Get Back Together.’
The Nostalgia Narcissist
When your date says, “I’ve moved on,” what they mean is: “I’ve rebranded my trauma into casual anecdotes you never asked for.”
Conclusion
If your dinner date includes a slideshow of their past love life, consider sending yourself the check–and a therapist recommendation.
More romantic recycling tips at bohiney.com.
