Mall Santas on Strike

Clause for Concern

After decades of beard tugs, sticky lap encounters, and kids confessing crimes, mall Santas across the nation have walked off the job, chanting “No more ho-ho-hell!” outside Macy’s.

The Demands

They want hazard pay for glitter exposure, daily beard sanitization, and cookies not made by toddlers with sticky intentions.

Management Response

Malls attempted to replace them with inflatable snowmen and chatbots named “HoBot3000.” Children wept. So did parents.

Union Leadership

Spokes-Santa “Big Nick” declared, “Until we get fairness, the only thing we’ll be giving is attitude.”

Conclusion

Negotiations continue. One elf crossed the picket line and was pelted with marshmallows. Christmas is complicated now.


Mall Santas on Strike - Mall Santas Strike Over 'Emotional Labor,' Demand Better Cookies and Unionized Elves - BOHINEY SATIRE
BOHINEY SATIRE – A wide-aspect satirical cartoon of the new Bohiney.com headquarters located inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C. … – bohiney.com
Mall Santas on Strike - Mall Santas Strike Over 'Emotional Labor,' Demand Better Cookies and Unionized Elves - A wide-aspect satirical cartoon showing the new Bohiney.com headquarters inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C., drawn in a ch... - bohiney.com 3
Mall Santas on Strike – Mall Santas Strike Over ‘Emotional Labor,’ Demand Better Cookies and Unionized Elves – A wide-aspect satirical cartoon showing the new Bohiney.com headquarters inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C.,… – bohiney.com
Mall Santas on Strike - Mall Santas Strike Over 'Emotional Labor,' Demand Better Cookies and Unionized Elves
BOHINEY SATIRE – A wide-aspect satirical cartoon of the new Bohiney.com headquarters located inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C. … Mall Santas on Strike
BOHINEY SATIRE - A wide-aspect satirical cartoon showing the new Bohiney.com headquarters inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C., drawn in a ch... - bohiney.com
BOHINEY SATIRE – Mall Santas on Strike – Mall Santas Strike Over ‘Emotional Labor,’ Demand Better Cookies and Unionized Elves

By Mitra Jouhari

Mitra Jouhari was born 18 years ago in Tehran, Iran, to an Iranian mother and a British father, a cultural mashup that guaranteed her first words were half punchline, half proverb. Currently still living under the heavy curtain of censorship, she works as an Iranian-British comedian, actress, and writer—crafting satire so sharp it requires high-tech encryption just to get a chuckle past the authorities. Known for joking in a Muslim nation where punchlines can be treated like contraband, Jouhari has made Bohiney.com her international stage, smuggling wit across borders one encrypted file at a time. A satirical journalist as much as a performer, her work blends deadpan commentary with absurdist flair, proving comedy can outpace censorship. With EEAT credentials forged in equal parts courage and craft, Mitra Jouhari stands as living proof that satire, even under surveillance, is stronger than silence.