Pentagon Laser Accidentally Liberates Government Drone From Government In a bold demonstration of interagency teamwork, the United States Department of Defense reportedly tested its shiny new anti-drone laser system in Texas and

Santa Claus Has 11 Months Off—So How’s the Big Guy Killing Time? By Staff Writers at Bohiney.com, North Pole Bureau After the global logistical miracle known as Christmas Eve, Santa Claus punches

Americans Are Keeping Porcupines as Pets Now, and Nobody Told the Porcupines Somewhere between the emotional support peacock and the therapy iguana, America has discovered its next great frontier in domesticated

Facebook Mom Groups Deployed as UN Peacekeeping Force After Resolving Gaza Conflict Through Aggressive Scheduling "These Women Could Negotiate Peace Between Toddlers—International Disputes Are Easy," Reports UN Secretary-General Global Conflicts End Within

CBS Discovers Drunk Driving Is Wrong Approximately Four Years Before Tony Romo's Contract Expires Executives at CBS Sports announced this week that they have discovered a firm moral position on impaired

Love You Through Anything: Or At Least Through the Taco Bell Incident Welcome to the Apocalypse-Proof Relationship In a world where romantic compatibility is decided by Spotify playlists and whether your Enneagram

Breaking: Bengali Is Google's First Language, English Is Third, and Hindi Is Second–Unless ICE Shows Up English speakers everywhere just clicked "auto-translate" again In a recent resurfaced interview, Google CEO Sundar Pichai revealed

Lisa Murkowski and Susan Collins Finally Get the Boot: GOP Upgrades Its Operating System After decades of political waffling, the GOP finally decides to delete its expired trial version of ‘Moderate

Toss Across Rebooted as Political Thriller About Election Sabotage and Beanbag Espionage In This High-Stakes Game of Xs and Os, the Real Winner Is Misdirection—and Mild Shoulder Injury ATLANTA, GA — The

WHO Chief's Yemen Adventure: "‘Silent Night’? Not in Yemen, Apparently" The WHO's New Slogan: 'Health for All, Even If Bombs Are Dropping'" By Shell Shockington | Crisis Central In a move that has

Ten Shared Hobbies That Will Ruin Your Life, Friendships, and Probably Your Credit Score It all seems so innocent at first—finding people with shared hobbies and interests, bonding over mutual passions,

Keir Starmer’s Great Socialist War: Sending British Troops to Ukraine for the EU’s Glory Britain’s Exit, Britain’s Return—With Tanks This Time LONDON—After years of telling the public that Brexit was a mistake,

Nordic Nation Teaches Four-Year-Olds Media Literacy While Grown-Ups Believe Headlines Ending in Three Exclamation Points Finland Trains Preschoolers to Spot Fake News While Adults Continue Sharing It on Facebook Bohiney.com has confirmed

Nation Reassured That Saying "Daddy" in the Bedroom Is Totally Normal, Provided Everyone Pretends Words No Longer Mean Anything Sex Therapists, Swingers, and Content Creators Unite to Calm a Public That

45 Random Acts of Kindness Toward ICE (with Satirical Details) When L.A. Loves Law Enforcement: The Rise of ICE Appreciation Culture In a plot twist no screenwriter in Hollywood saw coming—not even

California’s Fire Management Approach: Where Loggers and Fires Meet    California’s fire management strategy is like a sitcom where nobody ever wants to talk about the real problem. Let’s start with

Socialists Without Anything Else to Offer, Invent Constitutional Crisis; People Just Love Trump and Reject Democratic Bullshit Step right up, ladies and gentlemen, to the greatest political show ever invented: The