Ceremony Witnesses Say It Was Like Watching a Contract Negotiation with Vows
Trump Adds “No Apologies” Clause to Wedding Vows, Melania Blinks Twice in Morse Code
Ceremony Witnesses Say It Was Like Watching a Contract Negotiation with Vows
PALM BEACH, FL — A leaked draft of Donald Trump’s revised wedding vows reveals a newly inserted clause titled “Perpetual Right to Be Right,” commonly referred to as the “No Apologies Amendment.” According to eyewitnesses, the vow was inserted between “for richer” and “for golfier.”
“In sickness and in health, in scandal and in subpoena, I shall never say sorry,” Trump read aloud, while Melania blinked twice in what observers claim was Morse code for “get help.”
Mar-a-Lago officiants say the vows were negotiated in the same ballroom where Trump once hosted a poker night with Rudy Giuliani and a man claiming to be Elvis’s financial advisor.
Melania’s own vow response was reportedly redacted by her legal team and replaced with a polite nod and an NDA reminder.
The crowd applauded after Trump concluded: “I vow to love you more than ratings, but slightly less than rally attendance.”
Guests were given souvenir rings embossed with the phrase “No Takebacks, No Tearful Admissions.”
Ivanka Trump commented afterward: “Honestly, it was the most emotional prenup I’ve ever seen.”
=========
SOURCES:
How to Be POTUS Without Reading Anything
and
How to Be POTUS Without Ever Apologizing
