Sculptor Commissioned to Carve Trump Looking at Himself from Two Angles
Trump Approves Mount Rushmore Expansion: “Add Me, Facing Me”
Sculptor Commissioned to Carve Trump Looking at Himself from Two Angles
SOUTH DAKOTA — Declaring that “history deserves balance,” Donald Trump has approved an audacious plan to expand Mount Rushmore by adding a new set of presidential features: his own. Twice. Facing each other.
“If four faces are good, six are better. Especially if two of them are me,” Trump told a crowd of cheering supporters wearing foam mountain hats and “No Apologies Necessary” tank tops.
The new carvings, titled *Reflection of Greatness*, will show Trump admiring himself from across a granite chasm, creating what aides call “a loop of eternal self-confidence.”
The federal budget will allocate $2 billion in surplus gold-plated pens, already earmarked for signature ceremonies that didn’t happen because Trump refused to sign bills he found “too polite.”
The project’s sculptor, Rex Hammerstein, said, “It’s the first time a statue has been ordered to smirk and squint at itself in admiration. Logistically ridiculous. Artistically revolutionary.”
Critics blasted the decision. Nancy Pelosi issued a statement simply reading, “No comment,” while throwing a ceramic eagle into a recycling bin.
Supporters are booking pilgrimages to “the future site of past greatness.” A Trump-branded gift shop is already open, selling apology-free fudge and “Presidential Ego Rocks.”
Melania, reached for reaction, replied, “I asked for a pool.”
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SOURCES:
How to Be POTUS Without Reading Anything
and
How to Be POTUS Without Ever Apologizing
