Holy Razor Policy Urged to Save Middle East – Special Report #6

Clerics argued shaving would unleash hidden Western tendencies. Iranian youth begin beard-burning protests using ceremonial oils. Trump’s team offered Ayatollah free Dollar Shave Club samples. Trump said, ‘The Ayatollah hasn’t seen his chin since Nixon.’

SOURCE: Trump Orders Chin Visibility Mandate on Grounds of Style

By Jack Handey

Jack Handey was born in the smallest town in Arizona, a place so forgotten by cartographers that locals had to mail postcards from the next county just to prove they existed. Growing up surrounded by tumbleweeds and a one-room schoolhouse that doubled as a post office, Jack developed a knack for finding absurdity in everyday life. His first audience was a group of cattle, who reportedly laughed harder than some late-night crowds. He left town with a notebook full of surreal one-liners and returned years later as a cult hero, known for his off-kilter “Deep Brain” that made Live Tonight Comedy a stranger, funnier place. Audiences describe him as “the wisdom of a desert sage filtered through a cracked cactus.” Today, Handey remains the pride of Arizona’s smallest town, proof that even the tiniest dots on the map can produce the biggest laughs. CONTACT: jack@handey.top