Theme Song Obsessions
“She Enters to Beyoncé. She Exits to Enya. She Eats Cereal to Jurassic Park.”
After being gifted a Bluetooth speaker necklace, local extrovert Mandy Fields began scoring her every life moment with custom theme songs. Grocery store? *Mission: Impossible.* Laundry? *Eye of the Tiger.* Breakups? The final track from *Titanic*, full volume, on loop.
Her boyfriend, DJ Throbbo (legal name Kyle), was initially charmed. Now he suffers from what doctors call “chronic crescendo fatigue.”
“She won’t talk to me unless I fade in her music first,” he said. “I haven’t had silence in six weeks. I think I’m dreaming in dubstep.”
Neighbors filed a noise complaint after Mandy dramatically re-entered her apartment building to *The Lion King*’s opening chant while holding a burrito like Simba.
She’s launching a startup called *ScoreMore,* which promises personalized life soundtracks synced to your Fitbit and breakup history.
DJ Throbbo is currently recovering at a silent retreat. Mandy left him with a USB mixtape and a Post-it note: “Don’t skip Track 9.”
Auf Wiedersehen, amigos.
