Florida Man Claims to Be Trump’s Court Jester, Demands Salary in Arby’s Coupons

TAMPA, FL — Declaring himself “Sir Jokes-A-Lot of the MAGA Realm,” local Florida man Dale “Dingo” Haversham stormed a town hall Tuesday wearing a Burger King crown, a bedazzled flag cape, and mismatched Crocs, demanding recognition as Donald Trump’s official Court Jester.

Haversham claims he was “anointed via Facebook Live” after performing a backflip while shouting conspiracy rhymes about windmills, Hunter Biden, and barbecue sauce.

His royal decree? “I shall entertain the kingdom of Mar-a-Loco and be paid in Arby’s coupons and presidential bobbleheads.”

A MAGA rally organizer, visibly exhausted, told local news, “Honestly, this guy just keeps showing up with a kazoo and yelling about ‘noble Flat Earthers.’ We’ve tried pepper spray, prayer circles, and even logic.”

Haversham currently performs nightly in the median of I-4, juggling garden gnomes and yelling “WITCH HUNT!” at passing Toyotas. He insists this is “vital service to the Realm.”

When asked about his duties, he replied, “I make the peasants laugh, distract the fake news dragons, and occasionally clean Rudy Giuliani’s dentures.”

Trump has yet to comment, though an unnamed Mar-a-Lago staffer allegedly saw Giuliani wave toward Dale and mutter, “Finally, someone I outrank.”

Dale’s current demands include a moat, three raccoons, and a podcast on Patriot Radio called The Jest of Times.