Untrained Support Peacocks
“She Said It Helped with Flying Anxiety. It Caused Three Emergency Landings and a Peahen Uprising.”
Travelers at O’Hare International were grounded for six hours after a support peacock named Galileo escaped its carrier, strutted down the aisle, and perched regally on the beverage cart, refusing to disembark until offered sparkling water and a copy of *SkyMall.*
Owner Tori Brenner claimed the bird was “essential to her aura regulation and turbulence visualization.”
Galileo had no training, no seat ticket, and an aggressive dislike for the beverage attendant’s ponytail. At 32,000 feet, he let out a screech, flared his tail, and kicked over a tray of Stroopwafels in what witnesses described as “an avian declaration of dominance.”
The cockpit was alerted. The captain allegedly said, “That’s it. I’m outbirded.”
Animal rights activists blamed poor onboarding procedures. FAA officials blamed “in-flight flamboyance.”
Galileo is now a minor celebrity with an agent and a branded luggage line called *Feathers First.*
Tori is grounded indefinitely–emotionally and otherwise.
Auf Wiedersehen, amigos.
