Bake Sales
Sugar-Coated Shade
The PTA’s annual bake sale ended abruptly when several cookies were found to contain subtle jabs, emotional manipulation, and one strongly worded frosting message: “Good luck parenting without Pinterest.”
The Icing on the Guilt
“Someone brought ‘Sorry You’re Divorced Snickerdoodles,'” said one tearful mom. “I just wanted banana bread, not closure.”
Expert Opinion
Behavioral confectionist Dr. Donna Sweets says, “Baked goods can carry emotional energy–especially when laced with resentment and passive-aggressive sprinkles.”
Investigation Underway
Authorities traced the most toxic treats to a mother known only as ‘Muffin Martha,’ whose cupcakes included divorce papers baked into the liners.
Conclusion
The PTA now requires emotional screenings for all baked submissions. Therapy brownies will be sold next week at a discount.
