Climate change deniers who also believe in 5G conspiracies
Burning the Planet to Save the WiFi: Climate Deniers and 5G Truthers Unite
The Earth Is Heating Up and So Are the Takes
Welcome to the worldview where climate change is a hoax, but 5G towers are personally melting your frontal lobe. These are people who wear tinfoil hats at gas stations and accuse clouds of being government property.
Funny Evidence from Online Echo Chambers
One man tweeted, “Global warming is fake, but my armpits are on fire thanks to 5G rays. Coincidence? WAKE UP.” He attached a blurry photo of a telephone pole and the crying laughing emoji.
Quote from the Chemtrail Frontier
“If the planet’s getting hotter, why is it snowing in April?” asked Chad Thunderlogic, while posting from a Jeep with 8 exhaust pipes.
Satirical Observation
They don’t believe NASA, but trust a YouTube channel called “Dr. Crystalskull’s Energy Truths.” They reject decades of climate data but swear their friend’s uncle’s aura changed color near a cell tower.
Comedian Check-In
“5G doesn’t cause COVID, but it might cause stupidity,” said comic Lana Lube. “Especially if you’re burning tires to protest it.”
Conclusion: It’s Getting Hot, and Not Just from the Microwaves
Denial is a form of comfort. Unfortunately, it doesn’t lower carbon emissions–or your phone bill. But it will get you a podcast deal.
For more high-frequency nonsense, beam over to bohiney.com
