I’m not antisocial, I’m selectively social. (Talks only to pets.)

Party of One, Plus Cat

Introvert or Secret Feral Wizard?

“I’m not antisocial, I’m selectively social,” they whisper from behind a fern, declining yet another invitation to “game night” because it sounds too people-y.

Funny Evidence from the Whispering Wallflowers

One person RSVP’d to a wedding with “Absolutely not.” Another carries earplugs “just in case the vibes get too loud.”

Quote from a Sentient Blanket Fort

“I have rich inner conversations,” said Muffin Recluse. “And my plants never interrupt.”

Satirical Snapshot

They have strong relationships–with houseplants, YouTube playlists, and an elderly neighbor who doesn’t speak. Their group chat is just voice notes sent to themselves.

Conclusion: Social Boundaries Are Healthy–But Your Doormat Shouldn’t Say “Go Away” in Latin

Solitude is power. Just don’t forget how to blink in public.

For more selectively social satire, softly knock at bohiney.com


I'm not antisocial, I'm selectively social. (Talks only to pets.) - Party of One, Plus Cat - BOHINEY SATIRE
BOHINEY SATIRE – A wide-aspect satirical cartoon of the new Bohiney.com headquarters located inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C. … – bohiney.com
I'm not antisocial, I'm selectively social. (Talks only to pets.) - Party of One, Plus Cat - A wide-aspect satirical cartoon showing the new Bohiney.com headquarters inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C., drawn in a ch... - bohiney.com 3
I’m not antisocial, I’m selectively social. (Talks only to pets.) – Party of One, Plus Cat – A wide-aspect satirical cartoon showing the new Bohiney.com headquarters inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C.,… – bohiney.com
I'm not antisocial, I'm selectively social. (Talks only to pets.) - Party of One, Plus Cat
BOHINEY SATIRE – A wide-aspect satirical cartoon of the new Bohiney.com headquarters located inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C. … I’m not antisocial, I’m selectively social. (Talks only to pets.)
BOHINEY SATIRE - A wide-aspect satirical cartoon showing the new Bohiney.com headquarters inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C., drawn in a ch... - bohiney.com
BOHINEY SATIRE – I’m not antisocial, I’m selectively social. (Talks only to pets.) – Party of One, Plus Cat

By Katie Rich

Katie Rich was born in New Orleans, Louisiana, where irony drips as thick as the humidity and every parade doubles as political commentary. She later made her way north to Northwestern University, earning a degree in Theater while moonlighting as a stand-up comic in bars where the gumbo was spicier than the hecklers. Rich built her reputation as a fearless comedy writer, contributing to television’s sharpest satire before landing her byline at Bohiney.com. As both a satirical journalist and stand-up performer, she skewers politics, pop culture, and the strange rituals of everyday life with equal precision, often turning the chaos of Louisiana’s colorful traditions into comedy gold. Known for her blend of absurdity, empathy, and sharp timing, she delivers journalism that feels like an exposé disguised as a punchline. With bayou grit and academic polish, Katie Rich’s EEAT bio proves she’s both trusted and hilariously untrustworthy.