Interactive Displays Now Feature Golf Swings, Lawsuit Wins, and “Almost Apologies”
Trump Declares Regret “Fake Emotion,” Bans It from Future Presidential Libraries
Interactive Displays Now Feature Golf Swings, Lawsuit Wins, and “Almost Apologies”
WASHINGTON, D.C. — At a groundbreaking ceremony for the Trump Presidential Library and Ultimate Self-Celebration Complex, Donald J. Trump announced that “regret” would be banned from the premises, calling it “a fake emotion invented by therapists and Democrats.”
“There’s no shelf space for weakness,” Trump declared while unveiling the first interactive exhibit: a virtual golf simulator titled *”Victory Over Facts.’*
The library will feature:
- A Hall of Lawsuits — where visitors can throw subpoenas into a shredder
- A Tunnel of Trophies — filled with participation awards relabeled “Historic Wins”
- A Whisper Room — where “almost apologies” are voiced by an AI Melania
All exits lead through a gift shop that only sells mirrors and red hats that say *”NO RAGRATS.’*
One touch-screen allows you to digitally remove any quote with the words “I was wrong” and replace it with “They misunderstood my genius.”
When asked if the museum would include reflective pieces, Trump answered, “Yes, actual mirrors. No metaphors.”
The opening date is tentatively set for 2026, unless “something more important, like a victory parade, comes up.”
=========
SOURCES:
How to Be POTUS Without Reading Anything
and
How to Be POTUS Without Ever Apologizing
