Each Incident Now Labeled “Historic Triumph, Misunderstood by Critics”
Trump Replaces Apology Section in White House Website With “You’re Lucky I Was Here” Page
Each Incident Now Labeled “Historic Triumph, Misunderstood by Critics”
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a dazzling act of digital defiance, the Trump administration has officially overhauled the White House’s apology and correction archive, replacing it with a new webpage titled *”You’re Lucky I Was Here.”* The page features a looping video of Trump walking through fog with the caption “History’s Favorite Guest.”
Former entries, like the typo-ridden Iran memo and the accidental embargo on Nebraska, are now footnoted as *”Bold Experiment in Foreign Policy Geography.”*
“I never apologize,” Trump said. “I occasionally realign truth to better reflect my greatness.”
The new section includes emojis, motivational Trump quotes, and a sound effect of a golf ball sinking into a cup every time a visitor clicks.
Melania’s requested correction about a birthday mix-up was replaced with a GIF of Trump giving a thumbs-up under fireworks labeled *”Still Crushed It.”*
Fact-checkers now face a CAPTCHA that asks, “Do you believe in winners?” before they can proceed.
When asked if the page would ever host a real apology, Trump laughed, “That’s like asking Mount Rushmore to say “Oops.'”
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SOURCES:
How to Be POTUS Without Reading Anything
and
How to Be POTUS Without Ever Apologizing
