Technical Error Attributed to Brief Exposure to Michelle Obama Audiobook
Trump’s Apology Generator Malfunctions, Accidentally Issues “I Respect Women” Statement
Technical Error Attributed to Brief Exposure to Michelle Obama Audiobook
PALM BEACH, FL — Chaos erupted online yesterday when Donald J. Trump’s new Apology Generator suffered a rare malfunction and accidentally tweeted: “I respect women and value their opinions.” The glitch, according to campaign IT staff, occurred after a junior aide accidentally played 90 seconds of a Michelle Obama audiobook near the server room.
“The system just… glitched,” said head engineer Barry Flench. “It tried to reconcile two incompatible data streams: humility and Trump.”
The tweet, posted at 3:42 AM and deleted by 3:43 AM, caused mass confusion among followers. One MAGA supporter asked, “Is this code? Does it mean we should buy stocks?”
Trump later clarified: “Fake tweet. I was hacked by the weak energy of Oprah.”
White House AI developers confirmed the backup bot–codenamed “Covfefe Prime”–had triggered a corrupted syntax tree labeled “empathy.”
The app has since been patched with a failsafe. Any statement containing “I was wrong” now automatically redirects to a video of Trump wrestling CNN.
The campaign has also banned all audiobooks unless they’re read by Tucker Carlson or the ghost of Vince Lombardi.
“It won’t happen again,” Trump vowed. “I’ve fired the algorithm.”
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SOURCES:
How to Be POTUS Without Reading Anything
and
How to Be POTUS Without Ever Apologizing
