Monkey Sues Neuralink for Unpaid Royalties, Calls Himself “Idea Guy”

Palo Alto, CA — In a groundbreaking legal development, a rhesus macaque named Carlton has filed a lawsuit against Neuralink, claiming unpaid royalties and intellectual property theft for the now-famous “brain-controlled Pong” demo.

“I pitched the whole thing,” said Carlton, typing through a brain–cursor interface while wearing tiny suspenders. “I said: ‘What if monkey… but gamer?’ Musk stole that. Now I live in a cage next to a guy who thinks he’s a squirrel.”

The lawsuit, filed in the Superior Primate Court of Santa Clara, alleges that Neuralink exploited Carlton’s likeness, cognitive patterns, and snack preferences without proper compensation. The monkey’s legal team, led by celebrity animal rights attorney Gloria Beakman, is seeking 2.7 million bananas or equivalent Ethereum.

Neuralink responded: “Carlton was compensated per industry standards—he received ample bananas and one NFT titled ‘Monkey Dreams of Pong.’”

The case has sparked a national debate on intellectual property rights for lab animals. A Change.org petition titled “Apes Deserve Equity” has already gained over 40,000 signatures—most of them from anonymous zoo Wi-Fi logins.

“If Neuralink can implant a chip,” Beakman said, “then they can also implant fair labor ethics.”

Musk tweeted a response: “This is monkey business. I’ll settle if he can beat me in chess.”