Replaces It with “You’re Welcome” Regardless of Context
Trump Declares “Sorry” a Foreign Word, Bans It from Federal Documents and Scrabble Tournaments
Replaces It with “You’re Welcome” Regardless of Context
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold linguistic maneuver, President Donald J. Trump signed Executive Order #1776-B, officially banning the word *”sorry”* from all federal documents, press briefings, and family game nights. The banned term will be replaced by the phrase *”You’re welcome,”* regardless of context, tone, or reality.
“I looked into the root of the word “sorry,'” Trump told reporters. “It’s probably French. Or Canadian. Either way, it’s weak.”
From now on, government apologies for delays, scandals, and drone mishaps will read: *”You’re welcome for the unexpected surprise experience.”*
Scrabble boards sold in U.S. territories will come preloaded with new rules: *”Sorry” scores zero and gets you investigated.*
Melania reportedly attempted to write a personal letter of apology to a childhood friend. The White House spell-check system autocorrected it to *”You’re welcome for my presence.”*
Airlines, DMV clerks, and IRS agents are already replacing scripted apologies with “Be grateful we even answered.”
“We don’t say sorry in my America,” Trump declared. “We say: Deal with it. And by the way, you’re welcome.”
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SOURCES:
How to Be POTUS Without Reading Anything
and
How to Be POTUS Without Ever Apologizing
