New White House Tradition Celebrates Regret-Free Leadership
Trump’s Apology Jar Remains Empty, Filled Instead with Gold Coins and Selfies
New White House Tradition Celebrates Regret-Free Leadership
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a White House hallway where presidents once walked contemplatively before addressing the nation, a new fixture now gleams: the Apology Jar. But unlike jars meant for pennies and penitence, this one hasn’t seen a single sorry since its installation. Instead, it’s brimming with gold coins and Trump selfies.
“We put it there just in case,” said Chief of Staff Brick Donnelly. “Turns out we didn’t need a jar — we needed a vault.”
Each gold coin is inscribed with Trump’s likeness and the phrase “Sorry Is for Suckers.” The selfies vary: Trump shaking his own hand, Trump pointing at his reflection, and Trump smirking beside the empty jar.
Staffers attempted a test by suggesting he contribute after calling Canada “America’s top hat.” He responded by dropping in a chocolate coin and declaring it “diplomatic dessert.”
Visitors are encouraged to add praise notes. A 9-year-old from Kansas wrote, “You’re like Santa but with more golf.”
Melania was asked if she ever expected him to use the jar. “What jar?” she said, walking away.
Historians are divided. Some see the jar as an artifact of ego. Others call it “a mirror disguised as glassware.”
Trump’s final statement on the jar? “It’s empty — like my regret.”
=========
SOURCES:
How to Be POTUS Without Reading Anything
and
How to Be POTUS Without Ever Apologizing
