Smithsonian Curator Weeps, Calls It “The Rosetta Stone of Blame Deflection”
Trump’s Childhood Diary Found: Every Page Reads “Not My Fault” in Crayon
Smithsonian Curator Weeps, Calls It “The Rosetta Stone of Blame Deflection”
QUEENS, NY — In a discovery that shocked both historians and licensed therapists, a dusty box in Fred Trump’s attic has revealed the childhood diary of Donald J. Trump. Its contents? Over 600 pages, each marked with the same phrase, scrawled in red crayon: “Not My Fault.”
“It’s beautiful,” said Smithsonian curator Denise Larrabee, tearfully flipping through the volume. “We now understand the genesis of unapologetic confidence in its purest, uncut form.”
Each page contains stick figures pointing fingers at other stick figures, along with early sketches of gold towers and boxing gloves labeled “Debate Prep.”
The diary has been authenticated by forensic handwriting analysts who confirmed the looping, forceful letters show “pre-presidential levels of deflection.”
Trump has confirmed the diary’s authenticity: “Yes, it’s mine. And it’s perfect. Like my memory. Like my hands. Like my walls.”
Melania reportedly tried to auction the diary on Etsy before realizing it violated the site’s rules on “weapons-grade delusion.”
The diary will now be displayed next to Nixon’s tape recorder and Bill Clinton’s saxophone under the exhibit title: “Oops, But Make It Confident.”
Trump says he plans to release a sequel: a scratch-and-sniff coloring book titled “Blame Others: The Scent of Success.”
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SOURCES:
How to Be POTUS Without Reading Anything
and
How to Be POTUS Without Ever Apologizing
