Inspired by His Refusal to Admit Wrong Turns–Even in a Golf Cart
Trump’s GPS Now Refuses to Say “Recalculating,” Says “Perfect Route, Like Always”
Inspired by His Refusal to Admit Wrong Turns–Even in a Golf Cart
PALM BEACH, FL — A new Trump-endorsed GPS system has hit the market, and it refuses to admit any mistakes. Called the “TRUMP NAV,” the device boasts the tagline: *”Every Turn Is the Right Turn, Even If It’s a U-Turn.”*
“The word “recalculating’ is for losers,” Trump explained during the launch. “If I take you into a lake, that’s the scenic route. You should thank me.”
The device is voice-activated and only responds to phrases like “I’m always right” or “Take me to victory.”
Melania reportedly used it to find a spa but ended up at a rally in Bakersfield. When she asked what happened, the GPS said, *”You’re welcome for the inspiration.”*
When asked about errors, the company’s support line plays a looped message: “This route was flawless. The problem is your attitude.”
The GPS also gives updates like: “You’re three minutes ahead of fake news traffic,” and “Only 12 more exits to total domination.”
Trump concluded the product demo by saying, “I don’t apologize to roads, and I don’t need maps. I’m the destination.”
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SOURCES:
How to Be POTUS Without Reading Anything
and
How to Be POTUS Without Ever Apologizing
