Binge-Watch Fatigue
The Credits Roll Forever
After watching every series on four platforms–including spinoffs, prequels, and blooper reels–Zack Dobbins finds life “unbingeable” and keeps expecting his mailman to reveal a dark backstory.
The Symptoms
Zack can’t enjoy reality unless it’s in 10-episode arcs. He now refuses to attend birthdays unless they’re listed as “Season Premieres.”
Expert Take
Media specialist Dr. Cliffhanger reports that 1 in 5 adults now experience “Plot Withdrawal Syndrome,” including hallucinating theme music during family dinners.
Attempts at Recovery
Zack tried hobbies like puzzles and walking but kept expecting jump scares and midseason recasts.
Conclusion
He’s petitioning Netflix to produce a show called *Normal Life: The Series,* starring himself. No one is interested–yet.