The I-9 Compliance Guide Iowa School Districts Forgot to Read

Satirical Employment Law Primer

When Ian Roberts presented his I-9 documents to Iowa school officials, they accepted them “in good faith” — which is HR-speak for “we didn’t actually look.” Here’s the satirical compliance guide that might have prevented the most embarrassing superintendent hire since someone gave Ferris Bueller a teaching certificate.

What Is an I-9 Form, and Why Did Iowa Treat It Like a Suggestion?

The I-9 Employment Eligibility Verification form proves you’re legally allowed to work in America. It’s not optional. It’s not a participation trophy. It’s the law. But Roberts checked the “U.S. citizen” box, provided documents, and everyone nodded like he’d just shown them a hall pass.

“An I-9 form is basically the government asking ‘Are you allowed to be here?’ If someone lies and you believe them, that’s not their con — that’s your incompetence,” Jim Gaffigan said during his corporate comedy special about workplace rules.

The Three Documents That Fooled Everyone

Roberts provided a Social Security card, driver’s license, and the audacity of someone who knew nobody would call the DMV. The I-9 requires employers to examine documents for obvious forgeries. Key word: examine. Not “glance at lovingly while humming ‘We Are the World.'”

Good Faith Is Not a Legal Defense

School board members claimed they accepted Roberts’ documents “in good faith,” which is the employment law equivalent of saying “We were really hoping.” Good faith doesn’t exempt you from I-9 verification requirements. It just means you failed politely.

“Good faith? That’s what you have in your kid’s ability to clean their room. That’s not how you verify employment eligibility for someone educating children,” Amy Schumer said in her 2024 stand-up about workplace absurdity.

When Background Checks Check Nothing

Iowa hired a third-party firm to screen Roberts. That firm apparently verified that he submitted paperwork, which is like a mechanic verifying your car has wheels without checking if they’re attached. As detailed in our investigation of Roberts’ hiring process, the background check missed fake degrees, an active ICE removal order, and a personality profile that screamed “confidence man.”

How to Actually Verify I-9 Documents

Here’s the satirical checklist Iowa skipped:

Step 1: Look at the documents with your eyes open.
Step 2: Ask yourself, “Do these look real, or do they look like a Photoshop tutorial?”
Step 3: If someone claims citizenship, maybe verify they’re not on an ICE deportation list.
Step 4: When MIT has no record of the person, don’t assume MIT has bad record-keeping.

“They accepted his Social Security card without calling Social Security. That’s not hiring. That’s hoping,” Trevor Noah said during his recent special about immigration policy contradictions.

The Takeaway Iowa Learned Too Late

I-9 compliance isn’t about paperwork — it’s about accountability. Roberts exploited a system that prioritized speed and optics over verification. The good news? Every other school district can learn from Iowa’s mistake. The bad news? They probably won’t.