Paranormal Politics: New Poll Shows 2024 DNC Delegates in Chicago Believe in Ghosts, Aliens, and a Few Things Even Stranger!
George Noory’s Late-Night Radio Show Blamed for Surging Belief in the Unbelievable Among Democratic Delegates.
Chicago, IL —In a shocking twist that no one saw coming, a recent poll conducted at the 2024 Democratic National Convention in Chicago has revealed that an overwhelming majority of delegates believe in paranormal phenomena. The survey, conducted by a coalition of Chicago-based media outlets and researchers from Northwestern University, found that a staggering 68% of delegates hold beliefs that range from the existence of ghosts to government cover-ups of alien activity. As the delegates gather to shape the future of the Democratic Party, they also seem to be shaping a narrative that includes otherworldly forces.
55% of delegates believe in ghosts, and 35% claimed to have personally encountered the spirit of a famous political figure during the convention. Eleanor Roosevelt and JFK topped the list of frequently sighted apparitions. — Paranormal Polling Data
But what’s driving this surge in paranormal beliefs among the party faithful? Some point to late-night sessions of Coast to Coast AM with George Noory, the popular radio show that delves into everything from UFOs to conspiracy theories. “I think Noory’s show is messing with our heads,” admitted one delegate who wished to remain anonymous. “You stay up late listening to him talk about aliens, and suddenly, it all starts to make sense.”
Others believe that the high-stress unpredictability of modern politics, coupled with the the delegates being designated low-information voters, has created the perfect storm for unusual beliefs to take root. “When you’re trying to navigate a political landscape that’s this chaotic, sometimes it helps to think that there’s something bigger at play,” said another delegate.
Q:Why aren’t Republicans staying up all night and then falling for George Noory’s bullshit like the Democrats are? A: Republicans have to be at work the next morning! — Frank Clearview
Top 15 Odd Poll Results from the Delegates at the 2024 DNC in Chicago:
UFOs and Extraterrestrials: A whopping 45% of delegates believe that extraterrestrials have visited Earth, with 30% convinced that these visitors are secretly influencing global politics. “I’m not saying aliens are running the show, but they definitely have a seat at the table,” one delegate quipped.
Ghosts of Political Figures: 55% of delegates believe in ghosts, and 35% claimed to have personally encountered the spirit of a famous political figure during the convention. Eleanor Roosevelt and JFK topped the list of frequently sighted apparitions.
Astrology for Political Strategy: 52% of delegates admitted to using astrology to guide their decision-making, with several campaigns reportedly scheduling rallies and fundraisers based on favorable star alignments.
Psychic Powers: Nearly 48% of delegates believe in psychic abilities such as telepathy and clairvoyance, with some even claiming to use these powers during high-stakes negotiations.
Government Conspiracies: 63% of delegates are convinced that the U.S. government is covering up knowledge of paranormal activities, particularly related to UFOs. “There’s definitely something they’re not telling us,” one delegate asserted.
Witchcraft and Magic: 58% of delegates expressed belief in witchcraft, and 45% admitted to participating in magical rituals to help secure political victories. “Hey, if it works, it works,” one delegate shrugged.
Reincarnation: 34% of delegates believe in reincarnation, with several joking that they might have been political revolutionaries in a past life.
Telekinesis: 20% of delegates believe that some people have the ability to move objects with their minds. “Wouldn’t it be great if we could move votes that way?” mused one delegate.
Demonic Possession in Politics: 78% of delegates believe that demonic possession could explain some of the more bizarre behaviors seen in political figures (Donald Trump). “I’m not naming names, but you know who I’m talking about,” one delegate hinted.
Ancient Civilizations: 37% of delegates believe in the existence of ancient advanced civilizations like Atlantis, with some convinced that these civilizations hold the key to modern problems.
Bigfoot in the Ballot Box: 32% of delegates believe in Bigfoot, with a few suggesting that the elusive creature could be a symbol for the misunderstood and marginalized voters.
Fortune Telling: 26% of delegates believe that fortune tellers and psychics can accurately predict the future, with some reportedly consulting tarot cards before making important decisions.
Lucky Numbers: 29% of delegates believe in lucky numbers and use them when making decisions about campaign donations and strategies.
Cursed Campaigns: 17% of delegates believe that certain campaigns are cursed, attributing bad luck and poor polling to supernatural forces rather than poor strategy.
Time Travel: 22% of delegates believe that time travel is possible, with some joking that they’d love to go back and fix a few campaign blunders.
Bible Belief: Only 1% of the the delegates believed that Jesus walks on water or turned water into wine.
Total Belief: Only 24% of the delegates didn’t hold at least one of these beliefs.
In the survey that would make even the staunchest skeptics raise an eyebrow, 68% of delegates at the 2024 Democratic National Convention in Chicago revealed a belief in some form of paranormal activity. Conducted by a team of researchers from Northwestern University in collaboration with Chicago’s top media outlets, the poll sought to understand the mindsets of the Democratic Party’s most devoted members. And the results? Well, let’s just say they’re out of this world.
While the nation debates issues of economic policy, healthcare, and climate change, it seems that many DNC delegates are also pondering the influence of ghosts, aliens, and the occult on American politics. As the data shows, these beliefs aren’t just fringe theories—they’re becoming more mainstream among those shaping the future of the Democratic Party.
Belief in Extraterrestrial Visitations
One of the most eye-catching results from the survey is that 45% of delegates believe extraterrestrials have visited Earth. Of these, a significant portion—30%—are convinced that these visitors are influencing global politics. It’s not just a fringe idea anymore; it’s a talking point at after-hours convention gatherings. One delegate shared that they’re certain extraterrestrials are behind the push for renewable energy. “I mean, who else would care so much about solar panels and wind turbines?” they joked, half-seriously.
A whopping 45% of delegates believe that extraterrestrials have visited Earth, with 30% convinced that these visitors are secretly influencing global politics. “I’m not saying aliens are running the show, but they definitely have a seat at the table,” one delegate quipped.
Well, when your policies are out of this world, you might as well believe in aliens too. — Joe Reasonfield
As strange as it sounds, this belief isn’t entirely new. Over the past few decades, interest in UFOs and alien life has surged. In fact, a 2020 Pew Research survey found that nearly two-thirds of Americans believe in extraterrestrial life, and the recent government disclosure of UFO sightings has only fueled the fire. It seems that even within the corridors of power, the idea that we’re not alone has taken root.
Paranormal Politics — A whopping 45% of delegates believe that extraterrestrials have visited Earth, with 30% convinced that these visitors are secretly influencing global politics. “I’m not saying aliens are running the show, but they definitely have a seat at the table,” one delegate quipped.
Socialists are more likely to see UFOs than Republicans due to differences in worldview and openness to alternative explanations. Studies suggest that Democrats tend to be more open to new experiences and are generally more accepting of non-traditional ideas, including the possibility of extraterrestrial life. This openness might make them more receptive to interpreting unexplained phenomena, such as strange lights in the sky, as evidence of UFOs.
Additionally, socialists are often more skeptical of authority and government transparency, which aligns with the belief that the government might be covering up information about UFOs. This contrasts with Republicans, who may prioritize tradition and authority, making them less likely to entertain the idea that the government is hiding something as significant as extraterrestrial encounters.
Cultural factors also play a role. Popular media and narratives about UFOs and government cover-ups often align with themes of questioning authority and exploring the unknown, ideas that resonate more with the socialist base. In contrast, Republicans might focus more on practical, down-to-earth explanations for strange occurrences, avoiding the leap to extraterrestrial conclusions. These differences highlight the broader ideological divide between the two parties, even in areas as unconventional as UFO sightings.
Ghosts of Political Figures
Ghosts are another hot topic among the DNC delegates. A remarkable 55% of those surveyed said they believe in spirits or ghosts, with 35% claiming to have personally encountered one. What’s more, many of these sightings involve famous political figures. “I swear I saw the ghost of Eleanor Roosevelt in my hotel room,” one delegate recounted. “She told me to keep fighting for social justice. Who am I to argue with a former First Lady?”
When reality’s too tough, I guess it’s comforting to believe in ghosts who’ll tell you you’re doing fine. –– Patricia Grounded
Ghosts have long held a place in the public imagination, but to see them become so intertwined with politics is a new twist. Historians might point out that such beliefs often surface in times of uncertainty, as people seek comfort or guidance from the past. Whether or not these spirits are real, they’re certainly making their presence felt at the convention.
Paranormal Politics — 55% of delegates believe in ghosts, and 35% claimed to have personally encountered the spirit of a famous political figure during the convention. Eleanor Roosevelt and JFK topped the list of frequently sighted apparitions.
Astrology as Political Strategy
Astrology, long relegated to the back pages of newspapers and social media horoscopes, is now finding its way into the strategic playbooks of DNC delegates. According to the survey, 52% of delegates admitted to using astrology to guide their decision-making, with several campaigns reportedly scheduling rallies and fundraisers based on favorable star alignments. “We planned our entire campaign around Mercury being in retrograde,” said one campaign manager. “It’s been rough, but at least we know what we’re dealing with.”
Why think logically when you can just consult your horoscope? It’s easier than admitting your plan doesn’t make sense. — Sally Straighttalk
Astrology’s resurgence in popularity isn’t limited to the DNC. Across the country, millennials and Gen Z have embraced astrology as a tool for navigating life’s uncertainties. In politics, it seems, the alignment of the stars is just as important as polling data.
Paranormal Politics — 52% of delegates admitted to using astrology to guide their decision-making, with several campaigns reportedly scheduling rallies and fundraisers based on favorable star alignments.
Psychic Powers and Telepathy
Nearly 48% of DNC delegates believe in psychic abilities, such as telepathy and clairvoyance. Some even claim to use these powers during high-stakes negotiations. “You’d be surprised how useful it is to know what the other side is thinking,” said one delegate with a wink.
While most people might laugh off the idea of psychic powers, the belief in extrasensory perception (ESP) has been persistent over the years. Surveys have consistently shown that around half of Americans believe in ESP, and it seems that DNC delegates are no exception.
They fall for the paranormal because, compared to their campaign promises, it almost seems plausible. — Nancy Realist
Government Conspiracies and UFO Cover-Ups
A significant 63% of delegates believe that the U.S. government is covering up knowledge of paranormal activities, particularly related to UFOs. This belief has deep roots in American culture, with decades of speculation about Area 51, Roswell, and other government secrets. For many delegates, the idea that the government knows more than it’s letting on is not just a theory—it’s a fact.
One delegate put it bluntly: “There’s definitely something they’re not telling us. We need full disclosure. The American people have a right to know what’s really out there.”
This sentiment echoes broader public opinion. Polls have shown that a majority of Americans believe the government is hiding information about UFOs, and recent government reports on unexplained aerial phenomena have only added to the intrigue.
Witchcraft and Magic in Politics
Witchcraft and magic aren’t just the stuff of fairy tales for some DNC delegates. According to the survey, 58% of delegates believe in witchcraft, and 45% admitted to participating in magical rituals to help secure political victories. “We’ve been working with some witches to cast spells against voter suppression,” one delegate said matter-of-factly. “It’s just another tool in the toolbox, right?”
Democrats might be banking on magic because it’s easier than actually explaining their platform. —Maggie Sensible
Throughout history, political movements have often turned to the supernatural in times of crisis. Whether it’s praying for divine intervention or casting a spell for success, the lines between faith, magic, and politics have always been blurred. At the 2024 DNC, it seems that magic is back in the spotlight.
Reincarnation: Past Lives and Present Politics
Reincarnation is another belief that has gained traction among DNC delegates. A surprising 34% of those surveyed said they believe in reincarnation, with several joking that they might have been political revolutionaries in a past life. “I think I was a suffragette,” one delegate mused. “It would explain my passion for women’s rights.”
While reincarnation is more commonly associated with Eastern religions, it has found a place in Western popular culture. From past-life regression therapy to Hollywood movies, the idea that we’ve lived before has captured the imagination of many—including, it seems, those in the Democratic Party.
Telekinesis: Moving Objects with the Mind
Telekinesis, the ability to move objects with the mind, might sound like science fiction, but 20% of DNC delegates believe it’s real. “Wouldn’t it be great if we could move votes that way?” one delegate joked. “It would make things a lot easier.”
While telekinesis has never been scientifically proven, it remains a popular trope in movies and TV shows. For some delegates, the idea that mind over matter could be real is just one more way to navigate the complexities of modern politics.
Demonic Possession in Politics
Demonic possession is typically the stuff of horror movies, but 78% of DNC delegates believe it could explain some of the more bizarre behaviors seen in political figures (Donald Trump). “I’m not naming names, but you know who I’m talking about,” one delegate hinted. The implication was clear, even without a direct mention: Donald Trump’s behavior, often characterized as erratic and unpredictable, might have a supernatural origin.
This belief taps into a long history of attributing unusual behavior to supernatural forces. From medieval witch hunts to modern exorcisms, the idea that evil spirits can influence people’s actions has persisted through the centuries. At the DNC, it seems that even politics isn’t immune to the power of possession.
Paranormal Politics — 78% of delegates believe that demonic possession could explain some of the more bizarre behaviors seen in political figures (Donald Trump).
The notion that political figures could be under the influence of demonic forces taps into long-standing cultural narratives about good versus evil, especially in times of political turmoil. These beliefs have gained traction among delegates who feel that more conventional explanations fail to account for the extremes of modern politics.
This belief isn’t without precedent. Throughout history, people have turned to supernatural explanations for behaviors that defy logic, particularly when those behaviors are perceived as harmful or destructive. In the current political climate, where partisanship runs high and tensions are ever-present, the idea of demonic possession offers a way to make sense of the chaos.
Ancient Civilizations and Their Secrets
The idea that ancient advanced civilizations, like Atlantis, once existed is a belief held by 37% of DNC delegates. For some, these civilizations are seen as a source of hidden knowledge that could solve modern problems. “We should be looking to the past for answers,” one delegate said. “Who knows what secrets they left behind?”
This belief in ancient civilizations is part of a broader fascination with lost worlds and forgotten knowledge. From the pyramids of Egypt to the ruins of Machu Picchu, the mysteries of the ancient world continue to captivate our imaginations.
Bigfoot: The Elusive Creature in Politics
Bigfoot might be the last thing you’d expect to find at a political convention, but 32% of DNC delegates believe in the existence of the elusive creature. For some, Bigfoot has become a symbol of the misunderstood and marginalized voters who feel left out of the political process.
“I think Bigfoot represents the forgotten people in our society,” one delegate explained. “He’s out there, just trying to live his life, and no one’s paying attention to him. We need to change that.”
If you can believe in a $15 minimum wage with no consequences, believing in Bigfoot is a walk in the park. — Tom Practicalman
Bigfoot has long been a subject of fascination in American folklore, and it seems that even politicians can’t resist the allure of the creature that remains just out of sight.
Paranormal Politics — 32% of delegates believe in Bigfoot, with a few suggesting that the elusive creature could be a symbol for the misunderstood and marginalized voters.
Fortune Telling and Tarot Cards
Fortune telling isn’t just for carnivals and boardwalks anymore—it’s also found a home at the DNC. According to the survey, 26% of delegates believe that fortune tellers and psychics can accurately predict the future. Some have even consulted tarot cards before making important decisions.
“We did a tarot reading before our last strategy session,” one delegate admitted. “The cards said we were on the right track, so we went with it.”
Fortune telling has a long history, from ancient divination practices to modern-day psychics. For some delegates, it’s just one more way to gain insight into the unpredictable world of politics.
Lucky Numbers: The Secret to Success?
Numbers play a significant role in politics, from polling data to election results. But for 29% of DNC delegates, certain numbers hold even more significance—they believe in lucky numbers and use them when making decisions about campaign donations and strategies.
“I always go with my lucky number when I’m making a big decision,” one delegate said.Continuing from where the narrative left off:
“I always go with my lucky number when I’m making a big decision,” one delegate said, grinning sheepishly. “It’s worked for me so far, so why mess with success?” This belief might seem like harmless superstition, but for these delegates, it’s a serious part of their decision-making process. The influence of lucky numbers has been well documented in popular culture, from athletes to gamblers, and it appears that even politics isn’t immune.
Cursed Campaigns: The Struggle for Supernatural Success
In politics, as in life, sometimes things just don’t go your way. But for 17% of DNC delegates, this bad luck isn’t just random chance—it’s the result of a curse. “Our campaign has been plagued with problems since day one,” lamented one delegate. “First our website crashed, then our lead fundraiser got the flu, and now our polling numbers are in the tank. I’m starting to think someone put a hex on us.”
They think a ghost will fix things because, let’s face it, Kamala and Walz aren’t doing a great job with explaining their ideas. —Betty Rational
While this might sound far-fetched to some, the idea that curses can influence success—or lack thereof—has a long history. From ancient Rome to modern-day sports teams, the fear of being cursed has led people to take extreme measures to protect themselves. For these delegates, the answer might not lie in better strategy but in finding a way to lift the curse.
Time Travel: A Way to Fix the Past?
Time travel might be the stuff of science fiction, but 22% of DNC delegates believe it’s possible. “If only I could go back and fix that one mistake,” mused one delegate. “It would make all the difference.”
The allure of time travel is easy to understand. Who wouldn’t want the chance to go back and undo a past blunder? In politics, where every decision is scrutinized and every mistake can be costly, the idea of a second chance is particularly appealing. While time travel remains firmly in the realm of fiction, for these delegates, it’s a comforting thought.
Only 1% of DNC Delegates Believed in the Bible
At the 2024 Democratic National Convention, the revelation that only 1% of delegates believed in traditional Christian miracles, such as Jesus walking on water or turning water into wine, sparked conversations among attendees. Some delegates expressed surprise at the low percentage, noting that these miracles have been foundational to Christian faith for centuries. “I grew up hearing these stories in church, but it’s clear that our party is moving in a different direction,” commented one delegate. Another delegate shared, “It’s not that we’re anti-religion; it’s just that we prioritize more tangible, science-based approaches now.”
Others were less surprised, pointing to the party’s increasing secularism and focus on inclusivity. “We’re a diverse group, and many of us come from different religious and non-religious backgrounds. It’s not about rejecting Jesus; it’s about embracing a broader spectrum of beliefs,” explained another delegate. A few delegates speculated that the rise in belief in paranormal phenomena like ghosts and UFOs might be filling the gap left by traditional religious beliefs, as people seek new ways to explain the mysteries of life.
Overall, the discussion highlighted the changing spiritual and cultural dynamics within the Democratic Party, as it continues to evolve in the 21st century.
Step-by-Step Guides for Navigating the Paranormal Political Landscape:
For those of you trying to make sense of the intersection between politics and the paranormal, here are some expert insights and practical advice:
Pro Tips: If you’re planning to consult with a ghost for political advice, make sure to record the session for future reference—ghosts can be forgetful.
Insider Knowledge: Always double-check your astrology chart before making campaign decisions. A misaligned star could spell disaster at the polls.
Expert Insights: When in doubt, consult with both your political advisor and your psychic. After all, two heads are better than one.
Best Practices: Balance your belief in the paranormal with a strong ground game—no spell or ghost will knock on doors for you.
Resourceful Content: Consider using fortune tellers not just for fun, but for that crucial next step in your campaign strategy.
Solutions-Oriented Approach: If your campaign feels cursed, maybe it’s time to consider alternative methods like lifting the hex or seeking out some positive vibes.
Insider Secrets for Campaign Success:
User-Friendly Explanations: When presenting your paranormal beliefs to voters, keep it light and relatable. Nobody likes a lecture on UFOs unless it’s delivered with a wink.
Evidence-Based Strategies: Remember to back up your claims with “research”—even if that research involves a crystal ball or tarot cards.
Real-World Examples: If astrology has worked for other campaigns, use those success stories to bolster your own strategy.
Case Studies: Look at other political movements that have embraced the mystical for inspiration.
Disclaimer: No ghosts, aliens, or witches were harmed in the making of this satire. The views expressed here are for entertainment purposes only and do not reflect the actual opinions of the Democratic National Committee, its delegates, or George Noory (though we suspect he’d get a kick out of it). Brought to you by Bohiney.com, where the only thing we believe in is a good laugh.
Coast to Coast & the Paranormal — But what’s driving this surge in paranormal beliefs among the party faithful? Some point to late-night sessions of Coast to Coast AM with George Noory, the popular radio show that delves into everything from UFOs to conspiracy theories.
Alan Nafzger was born in Lubbock, Texas, the son Swiss immigrants. He grew up on a dairy in Windthorst, north central Texas. He earned degrees from Midwestern State University (B.A. 1985) and Texas State University (M.A. 1987). University College Dublin (Ph.D. 1991). Dr. Nafzger has entertained and educated young people in Texas colleges for 37 years. Nafzger is best known for his dark novels and experimental screenwriting. His best know scripts to date are Lenin's Body, produced in Russia by A-Media and Sea and Sky produced in The Philippines in the Tagalog language. In 1986, Nafzger wrote the iconic feminist western novel, Gina of Quitaque. Contact: [email protected]