Now Available in English, MAGA, and Loud Golf Course Whisper
Trump’s Apology Translator App Converts “Sorry” into “You’re Welcome for My Brilliance”
Now Available in English, MAGA, and Loud Golf Course Whisper
PALM BEACH, FL — Donald J. Trump has released a new app called *Apology Translator*, which instantly converts any phrase of remorse into a confident deflection worthy of a former President with a titanium ego and a 6-handicap.
“People apologize too much. It’s weak. This app fixes that,” Trump explained, wearing golf gloves indoors and sipping Diet Coke through a gold straw.
Using advanced AI modeled entirely on Trump’s tweet history, the app replaces phrases like “I’m sorry I was late” with “You’re welcome I arrived with perfect timing.”
Other sample translations:
- “My fault” becomes “Clearly your misunderstanding.”
- “I shouldn’t have said that” becomes “You weren’t ready to hear the truth.”
- “That was inappropriate” becomes “That was iconic.”
The app also includes a soundboard featuring phrases like *”Fake concern!”* and *”Only losers backpedal.”*
In beta testing, the app was downloaded 72,000 times at CPAC alone. A pro version replaces your ringtone with a triumphant trumpet sound every time someone demands accountability.
Critics warn it could erode civility. Trump replied, “Good. Civility never polled well.”
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SOURCES:
How to Be POTUS Without Reading Anything
and
How to Be POTUS Without Ever Apologizing
